It’s All In Your Head: Fostering a Growth Mindset for Language & Culture Learning

If you think you can or can’t—either way, you’re right.

Henry Ford

I heard the above saying growing up and assumed it was a kind of “positive thinking manifests destiny” kind of saying. It wasn’t until I completed my Master’s degree in Education that I realized Ford was ahead of his time. Whether it’s learning a language, dealing with a new cultural problem, or facing a business challenge, the scientific evidence is in, making it clear that your mindset affects your ability to learn or face challenges. As with many difficulties an expat faces, what happens inside your mind as an expat matters as much as, if not more than, what happens in your host country and culture. Today we’ll explore what a “growth mindset” is, why it matters so much to your life as an expat, and how to foster it in yourself and your family.

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What is a growth mindset?

In 1988, Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck conducted a fascinating experiment whose influence is still spreading. Reading her best-selling book or watching her TED talk with 15m+ views is well worth your time, but let this summary suffice for now. Dweck found that people can generally be divided into two groups: those with a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset. To simplify, those with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities are set and unchangeable, while those with a growth mindset believe that they can develop themselves and their abilities through effort.

Those with a fixed mindset often attribute their lack of knowledge or ability to perceived limitations within themselves or imposed by others. People with a fixed mindset may say they’re not smart enough, face discrimination, weren’t given opportunities, aren’t good students, have never been good with a particular subject, or with learning in general. Those with a growth mindset, on the other hand, will recognize that their past or external factors may make it more challenging to learn, but they believe they are capable of growth, learning, and improvement even if an entire system is against them.

Consider a few sentences and see if you can identify which is a growth mindset and which is a fixed mindset.

Which mindset are these?

1. I’ve tried and tried, but I’m just not good at learning languages.
2. It’s just too hard to live in a foreign culture. I might as well go home where I can fit in.
3. The government makes it hard for foreigners to live here, but I can figure out a way to do it.
4. I just don’t have enough time in my life to make friends with my neighbors.
5. I was so glad when my friend told me the gibberish I was saying so I can avoid those mistakes.
6. People like me seem to never get ahead. I have no examples to follow.
7. No one—not my parents or my teachers—taught me about budgeting, so I’m not good with money.
8. I’m probably going to get this wrong, but I’m going to try.
9. I’m going to find a way to give my kids the opportunities I never got growing up.
10. I’m an introvert; I find it hard to talk to strangers.

Some of these are obvious, but did you spot the two trick questions? See if you can identify them before reading on.

Answers

1. I’ve tried and tried, but I’m just not good at learning languages.
2. It’s just too hard to live in a foreign culture. I might as well go home where I can fit in.

These sentences both reveal fixed mindsets. Despite previous efforts, this individual believes that part of their nature or brain limits their ability to learn a language or that a foreign culture prevents them from being happy. You can feel the defeat in the sentences as the individual won’t try to learn a language or fit in the culture anymore.

3. The government makes it hard for foreigners to live here, but I can figure out a way to do it.

In contrast to the above, this individual faces immense difficulties in living in a foreign culture, but is approaching it with a growth mindset. This person isn’t even allowing anti-foreigner laws to limit their ability to live in the country, they’re going to find a way around it!

4. I just don’t have enough time in my life to make friends with my neighbors.

This exemplifies a fixed mindset. It may be true that this person considers other things in his life more important than meeting his neighbors, but it’s not accurate to say he “doesn’t have enough time.” The latter statement says that something else—the clock—prevents him from doing something he wants to do. The blame is outside himself, rather than taking responsibility to manage his time to meet his neighbors.

5. I was so glad when my friend told me that what I said was gibberish.

This may be less obvious than others, but it displays a growth mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset will often take corrections as a personal attack, rather than as an opportunity to learn. Of course, this makes sense—if you believe that your abilities cannot change, then someone pointing out a weakness would be a personal attack. After all, if you believe you are this way and cannot change, then how dare someone criticize it?

On the other hand, if you have a growth mindset, you welcome rebuke. Who you are and what you can do are two different things; if you see a weakness in the latter, it’s not an attack on the former. After all, you can change what you can do and grow—so thank you for the feedback, helping you understand how to grow!

6. People like me seem to never get ahead. I have no examples to follow.

Here’s the first of the trick questions because it’s neither a growth nor a fixed mindset. Assuming the sentence is 100% true, the real question is how this person will respond to these facts. Will they work hard to be the pioneer, to do what no one like them has ever done before? If so, that’s a growth mindset. On the other hand, if this person thus concludes that she can’t get ahead herself, then it evidences a fixed mindset.

7. No one—not my parents or my teachers—taught me about budgeting, so I’m not good with money.

Fixed mindset; this person has concluded that he isn’t good with money because no one taught him. Someone with a growth mindset would say that, because no one taught him, he needs to learn himself or find a willing teacher.

8. I’ll probably get this wrong and fail, but I’m going to try anyway.

One of the biggest differentiators of fixed and growth mindsets is what you do what failure seems likely or inevitable. Those with a growth mindset will try anyway so that they can begin learning. After all, making mistakes is part of learning! Those with a fixed mindset, though, will likely not try something that is “too hard” or where failure seems likely. The above sentence is a growth mindset.

9. I’m going to find a way to give my kids the opportunities I never got growing up.

This is a growth mindset. A fixed person would look at their few opportunities and see it as a lifelong limit on their ability to change or improve their life. Someone with a growth mindset, though, would look at that exact same set of facts and make a very different conclusion: that their kid’s legacy will be different.

10. I’m an introvert; I find it hard to talk to strangers.

Here’s the other trick statement—did you notice it? Introversion v. extroversion is a well-documented element of personality and it has definite effect on how easy it is to speak with a stranger. However, your personality is not the same thing as a fixed or growth mindset; instead, what you do with your personality reveals your mindset. If you conclude that because you’re an introvert and find it hard to talk to strangers that you thus cannot make new friends…that’s fixed mindset talking. But if you conclude that your introversion means you need to work harder to make friends than your extroverted friends, then that’s a growth mindset.

A growth mindset isn’t about DNA, personality type, temperament, gender, orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, interest, or aptitude: it’s a mindset within you that says you can either grow or you can’t.

Why expats need a growth mindset

Dweck found that those with growth mindsets outperform those with a fixed mindset in academic settings and in life. In one study, summarized in the excellent book The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor, Dweck identified whether 7th grade students had a fixed or growth mindset. Then, over the next years, they followed these 370+ students and found “The grade point average of students with a fixed theory of intelligence remained flat, while students with a growth mindset experienced an upward trajectory in their GPA-simply, those who believed they could improve, did” (The Happiness Advantage, p. 76).

Other researchers have duplicated these results in other fields. Particularly relevant for us expats, they’ve found that a fixed mindset in language learning is particularly damaging. Madeline Ehrman, holding advanced degrees in linguistics and psychology and author of Understanding Second Language Learning Difficulties wrote about self-efficacy, which is the belief that “one can cope and succeed” (p. 143). In this sense, self-efficacy is a similar concept to that of a growth mindset.

She found that low self-efficacy led to low self-esteem, a dependency upon others, and self-fulfilling negative prophecies. On the other hand, high self-efficacy led students to give more effort in their studies.

Students who perceive their own ability as low and who believe that ability is fixed also tend to limit their own achievements.

Madelin Ehrman, Understanding Second Language Learning Difficulties, p. 147

In short, those who believe that they could grow and improve…do. Those who believe that they can’t…don’t. And, of course, this makes sense, for why would you try to overcome a challenge if you believe that you can’t? And if you believe that you can overcome a challenge, why wouldn’t you? Our subjective mindset has a powerful influence on the objective results in life; placebos are necessary in drug tests, after all, because the objectively false belief that a pill will help their condition can produce actual changes in their physiology. That’s the power of mindset.

Those who believe that they can grow and improve…do. Those who believe that they can’t…don’t.

If you think you can or can’t—either way, you’re right.

So far, what I’ve discussed could—and does—apply to everyone around the world, but there are specific reasons why fostering a growth mindset is particularly crucial for expats.

You’re a kid in a foreign culture

When you move to a foreign culture, you cease to be a fully functioning adult who knows how to navigate the world. You become a child who has to learn not just what to do but how to do it. I had a great example of this a while ago when a friend got a parking ticket. In the US, it would take me about 5 minutes to pay a parking ticket because I know how: drop it in the mail with a check or pay the fine online.

Overseas, it took him two days to pay the fine. This wasn’t because the system is opaque or difficult, it’s because he didn’t know the system. Once he figured out how to do it, he was able to settle the fine relatively quickly, but it took him several days to figure out how to do something that he would have learned if he had grown up in his host culture.

In other words, all of an expat’s life is learning. The “how” of shopping, of home repair, or cooking, of buying furniture, of driving, of meeting friends, of language, and of how you speak that language—everything is different in a different culture. Cultural taxonomies are incredibly helpful to give an expat a lens through which to observe differences, but there is no end to the things you have to learn as an expat.

So consider how long you’ll last as an expat if you have a fixed mindset. If you believe your home culture is the only one you can know, that you’ll never fit in with your local friends, that you can’t gain fluency in their native language—if you believe these things, your time as an expat will be quite short.

You’re fighting the affective filter

I know of no area where a fixed mindset impedes growth as much as it hurts language learning. Not only does a fixed mindset prevent you from learning in general—remember the GPA results mentioned above in Dweck’s test—but it specifically prevents you from learning language because of a phenomenon known as the affective filter.

Linguist Stephen Krashen developed the idea of an “affective filter” which refers to the effect that one’s emotions has on one’s ability to learn language. Put simply, if a language learner is feeling positive emotions—motivated, self-confident, and without anxiety—then they’ll be in a good position to learn language. If, however, a student is experiencing “negative” emotions—low self-confidence, high anxiety, etc.—then the affective filter prevents them from consciously and even subconsciously learning language.

There’s perhaps nothing more destructive to learning a language than the belief that you can’t do it, that you’re too old, that it’s too hard, or that you’ll never be proficient in the language. On the other hand, a dogged growth mindset will enable you to overcome obstacles and do the hard work to learn a language.

Put simply, if you don’t have a growth mindset, your ability to survive as an expat, let alone thrive, will be greatly challenged, if not impossible. “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t—either way, you’re right.”

How to foster a growth mindset

The great news, however, is that your mindset isn’t fixed! That’s right! If you have a fixed mindset, it’s not an inalienable part of your DNA—your mindset can change, even if you don’t believe that it can! On the other hand, the fact that you have a growth mindset at this moment in time doesn’t guarantee that your mindset won’t change in the future to become more fixed. Our mindsets are malleable, constantly changing.

How, then, do you foster a growth mindset? How do you change your mindset from thinking of your abilities as fixed to thinking of them as changeable? And, if you’re a parent or a spouse or a business leader, how do you foster a growth mindset in those you influence?

The possible answers are nearly endless, but here are some things that I’ve learned and found personally helpful.

1. Finish your sentences

I had a language teacher who always interrupted loudly if he heard an “unfinished sentence.” That is, if we said something like “I can’t make that sound” he would interrupt and nearly yell out “Yet! Finish your sentence! ‘I can’t make that sound yet!’” If we said, “This language is so hard” he would interrupt and say “Right now! Finish your sentence! ‘This language is so hard right now!’” If we said “I can’t do this”, he would interrupt and insist “Yet! Finish your sentence! ‘I can’t do this yet!’”

I’ll never forget that lesson, or the way he taught it. He didn’t allow students in his class to display a fixed mindset without challenging it. Now, maybe you don’t need to interrupt and yell at your kids, students, or employees when they say something displaying a fixed mindset…but don’t leave it unchallenged either!Make sure that you and those in your sphere of influence finish their sentences!

I don’t know how to do this…yet. Living in a foreign culture is too difficult…right now. I’ve never been able to learn a language…but I will. Finish your sentences.

2. Praise effort, not results

If a student or child works hard at a task and fails—and especially if they succeed—make sure to honor and praise the effort they put into the task, not the results that they get. If a student accomplishes a task and your response is “You’re so smart!” (praising the “nature” of the person), then they are less likely to try a task where they may fail. Praise of someone’s “nature” or of the results they get has a perverse sense of reinforcing a fixed mindset—they’re a person who gets good results. Out of a desire, sometimes subconscious, to “remain” a “smart person”, they won’t attempt tasks which could prove that they aren’t smart. It’s a fixed mindset at work.

On the other hand, if you praise the effort someone invested in a project, the strategies they employed in their pursuit of success, or their perseverance which didn’t quit, these compliments foster a growth mindset that will take on new challenges. After all, whether they succeed or fail in a challenge, they can control the effort which they put into the effort and this fosters a growth mindset.

3. Avoid fixed mindset “triggers”

This tip is deeply personal, and it requires introspection to identify your specific triggers, but there are likely certain situations, people, subjects, words, events, or experiences which trigger you into thinking with a fixed mindset. As an extreme example, consider someone whose parents always told them that they were stupid, would never amount to anything, etc. If that person goes home or interacts with their parents, it might be easy for a fixed mindset to be triggered. Identify what may trigger you into a fixed mindset and work to avoid the situation, reduce its impact, or recover from it more quickly.

4. Learn perseverance of the moment

This tip is so powerful I wrote an entire article on it, but learn “perseverance of the moment.” One of the things that will destroy a growth mindset is the enormity of a task or challenge. If you look at the entire mountain of gaining language fluency, it’s easy to be overwhelmed, slip into a fixed mindset, and say “I can’t conquer that mountain.”

If, though, you focus on the immediate next step, the upcoming week, or the next day of study, it’s easier to maintain a growth mindset that says, “I can’t conquer that mountain…yet. But I can learn 5 more words. I can practice another hour. I can have one more conversation.” As you persevere in the moment, you’ll find that you can persevere for the entire journey.

In my moments of greatest frustration, I have a fixed mindset. Persevering in the moment enables me to get through those periods until, later, I can remember that change is possible.

5. Seek stories that inspire

I say this with slight hesitation, as watching an inspiring movie or reading an inspiring book doesn’t inherently create a growth mindset in others. In fact, some people can encounter something inspiring and walk away saying “I could never do that, I’m not ____ enough”…making them have a more fixed mindset than before.

But if you’re not like that, then inspiring stories can powerfully encourage you to grow and challenge yourself. Some of my favorite stories of people overcoming challenges are:

• Apollo 13 (the movie or the more incredible book). I particularly love the scene where the NASA technicians have a limited amount of time and have to fashion a carbon dioxide filter from the limited amount of gear on board. If they had a fixed mindset—we can’t do it with what we’ve got!—the astronauts would have died. Good thing they had a growth mindset to find a way to make it work!
• 438 Days an extraordinary true story of a man who lived adrift on the ocean for 438 days before finding land. It’s breathtaking.
• The Pursuit of Happyness – The (modified) story of Chris Gardner’s journey from homelessness to Wall Street broker. FYI, the movie is far better than the book (it’s sadly almost anti-inspiring to read the true story).
• Shoe Dog – The true story of the founding of Nike. The challenges the founder faced and overcame are astounding.
• The Girl With Seven Names – The powerful true story of a North Korea refugee and her life finding freedom.
• The Long Winter – Laura Ingalls Wilder’s account of a harrowing, blizzard-torn winter on the prairie which all but destroyed her family and town, except for their indomitable will to survive.
• A Million Miles Away – A fantastic film telling the true story of José Hernández, a migrant farm worker who became an astronaut. Based on the book Reaching for the Stars (though I haven’t read it…yet 😉).

6. Make a habit of learning

Read, learn, take courses, find mentors, journal, ask questions. Always be learning and upgrading rather than staying static or degrading in your abilities. The more you learn, the more you consciously and subconsciously believe that you are capable of growth and learning. This is one of the reasons why I read aggressively and ensure I can do so even as an expat. The moment you stop learning, the moment you start to believe that you can’t keep learning.

7. Compare your present self to your past self

We normally compare ourselves right now with the person we want to be, or we compare our current abilities with what we want those abilities to be in the future. That can be helpful and good in setting goals and having something to strive for, but it can discourage and switch you into a fixed mindset because it is overwhelming.

Instead, compare your present self to your past self. Maybe you haven’t learned the 5,000th vocabulary word that you want to, but last year you knew 500 words and this year you know 1,500. That’s a gain of a thousand words! Celebrate the growth you’ve made so you’re encouraged to keep learning–don’t critique yourself for the learning you haven’t done yet, that will just discourage you.

Conclusion

Adopting a growth mindset is not just beneficial, but essential for expats navigating the complexities of a new culture and environment. When you face a cultural challenge or the latest linguistic difficulty, your mindset will make all the difference. Foster a growth mindset to keep yourself learning and growing through them all so that you not only survive, but thrive as an expat.

After all, if you think you can, or if you think you can’t—either way, you’re right.

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