Paying for something from my business bank account should be straightforward, right? Wrong. It takes me 20 steps—yes, twenty—to make a single transfer. Whether it’s paying a vendor, refunding a customer, or reimbursing an expense, every time, I have to follow this process, which feels unnatural to me. Is that more steps than it would take in the U.S.? Probably, but who’s counting? Well, me, apparently—because, unlike in the U.S., where I can bank without thinking about it, it’s completely foreign in my host culture.

Here’s the kicker: only four of those steps felt familiar. The other sixteen? Completely different. I knew there was no way I’d remember them all, so I made a list. It wasn’t a complaint against my host culture or its complexities; it was a survival tactic. And guess what? That little list made the transfer a breeze the next time. As boring and unglamorous as list-making may seem, it’s essential for expats who want to survive and thrive abroad. To understand why, we need to touch on some neuroscience and productivity techniques, so let’s jump in.

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Brains hate details

One thing that neuroscientists have long recognized is that our brains are incredibly good at recognizing patterns and incredibly poor at remembering details. As a result, we have a lot of tools to help our brains remember details. We have calendars to remember events, to-do managers to remember tasks, contact lists for address and phone numbers, password managers to remember passwords, maps to remember roads and directions, dictionaries to remind us how to spell words (and what they mean), habit apps to remind us of habits, and reminder apps to remember everything else we need to remember. We use sticky notes, strings tied on fingers, or put items by the door or near our keys, all ways of dealing with the fact that our brains are bad at remembering details.

Human brains are really bad at remembering details

Our brains are just really bad at details. And while we can get better at remembering details, it’s far more efficient to recognize the brain’s limitation and use these tools to get details out of our brains so that we don’t have to expend energy remembering things that brains are bad at retaining.¹

In fact, research shows that we expend energy and encounter stress not just by remembering things in our brain, but also by wondering whether we’ll actually remember the thing that we need to remember.² If you’ve ever had a late-night realization of something you need to do in the morning, you’ll know immediately what I’m talking about. You realize that you have to do something in the morning, so you try to fix that idea in your brain: When I wake up, I need to… Trying to cement this idea in your brain stresses it out even as you’re trying to relax and go to sleep. Part of that stress comes from not just trying to remember the task but also worrying whether you will remember it in the morning. It’s a double whammy that will prevent you from sleeping.³

Our brains are so bad at remembering details that they are stressed not just by trying to remember, but also by wondering whether they will remember or not.

Expat brains are even worse

For things that we do quite often, like driving to the store or writing down our phone number, our brains will eventually remember and internalize how to do something so that we don’t have to consciously think about it all the time. But for something to become that internalized, you have to do it a lot. I’ve published over 70 articles on The Prepared Expat, once a week with a few exceptions, which you may think is frequent enough that I would know how to do it, but nope. I have a 60-point list of things that I need to do with each article and, without fail, I find every week that I’ve missed a step on the list. Why? Because even doing this once a week, every week, I just can’t keep 60 things step-by-step in order in my head. Our brains internalize things only after we’ve done them many times, with frequent regularity.

Nothing is internalized when you get to a new country

Why this matters for expats is that, when we move to another country, our internalized local memory gets wiped. Nearly nothing that we’ve internalized works anymore in a new culture and so we have to learn everything all over again, starting nearly from scratch. Where I am, even how you buy vegetables or hairspray is different from how I would do it in the U.S. Everything is new and, with brains that don’t remember details until they’re repeated dozens of times, that means we often feel clueless, even with things we’ve already experienced. We often don’t know how to do things and, even if we figured out how to do it one time, we may not remember how to do something the next time.

Unfortunately, when expats don’t know what to do or don’t remember what to do, they too commonly blame the host culture for being “complicated” or “difficult” when, in reality, it’s just that their brains are bad at remembering details. Solving the problem of remembering details, then, not only helps you survive in your host culture by getting things done, but it also helps you thrive, by helping you maintain a positive attitude towards the host culture.

The solution: an external brain

Rather than keeping all the details you need to live in your brain and hoping that you remember them all, your survival and thriving will be better off if you can keep those details in an ‘external brain,’ which remembers the details for you. The concept of an “external brain” is far beyond the purpose of this article, but the basic idea is to put details you need to remember in some place outside of your brain.

Get stuff outside of your brain

This way, your brain doesn’t need to remember the details (and worry that it will forget them) but, rather, just remember where you wrote them down or saved them. That’s not only far simpler but also something—a pattern—that your brain is very good at recognizing or remembering. Phone number? That’s in your address book. A meeting? That’s on your calendar. These are easy patterns for your brain to remember.

This blog isn’t about productivity hacks and neurology, so I’m not going to go into a full-length treatment of all the ways an external brain can help you.⁴ Rather, I’ll just talk about one kind of an external brain that is crucial for expats to develop: lists.

The almighty, but not glamorous, list

I regularly see expats ask questions like “What do I need to renew my visa?” or “What do I need to bring to the health check (needed to renew a visa in my host country)?” The question is natural, as these once-yearly activities happen infrequently enough that our brains haven’t internalized the requirements, but they’re also questions that, really, should only need to be asked once. Once you get an answer, you should be writing these things down so that you know what to do but don’t have to remember the details. Next time the situation comes up, you’ll know what to do. And, if you have a friend or fellow expat who needs help with how to do something, you’ll already be in a position to help out without extra effort.

I wish I had started making lists sooner but I, like so many expats, figured I’d just remember what to do or thought that a specific situation wouldn’t happen again, so there’s no point in making a list.

Nope, nope, nope. Without fail, every time I haven’t recorded the details of what is needed to do something, I’ve either forgotten something the next time or else the situation happened again, even though I was sure it never would. I should have known better and made a list—brains are bad at details, but lists are great at them.

Lists to make

You’re smart enough to know what lists you need to make and I won’t sport with your intelligence about those things, which are different in every country anyway, but here are some situations you may not have considered where a list is a great tool to have:

Process lists

Anytime you encounter a process you do in your host culture, make a list of the steps you took to resolve it. This not only will save you time in the future, but it becomes a resource you can pass along to other expats facing the same situation.

Make lists for these types of processes (and any others you encounter):

• How to pay taxes
• How to register with the police
• How to renew a visa
• How to open a bank account
• How to get a driver’s license
• How to see a doctor
• How to rent a property
• Etc.

Keep track of details like: what paperwork you need, where you need to go, any preparation you need to take beforehand, the actual steps of the process, etc.

Most of these events happen infrequently enough that you probably won’t remember the next time you need to do it, so write it down and help yourself (and others!) out in the future!

Emergency lists

Imagine that some crisis happened and you had 24 hours to evacuate from your host country. This may sound extreme, but there are displaced people all over the world who have encountered exactly this kind of an extreme scenario. You don’t need to pack a bag to be ready for an extreme scenario like this, though you could, but an emergency list enables you to prepare in advance, so that you don’t forget things in your stressed scramble to evacuate.

Consider:

• What would you pack? What has sentimental value and is irreplaceable? What has a high degree of financial value that would be wise to take along with you?
• Where would you go? How would you get there? Keep in mind that others will likely be evacuating at the same time, so what are your backup options?
• What do you need to help your kids feel stability amidst the chaos of an evacuation?
• Are there supplies, like space blankets or water filters, that might be crucial in an emergency evacuation situation?

a list you make in advance will not only help you remember crucial things but also reduce stress in the moment and likely help you beat the crowd’s rush to leave. Remember that movement, especially early movement, saves lives.

Packing lists

Ok, so if you’re an experienced expat, this may sound unnecessary, but it really isn’t. Most people think they don’t need a list to pack well, but most people also end up forgetting things that they need on a trip. There are so many dozens of things you need to take on a trip, especially if you have kids or it’s a longer trip, and your brain just isn’t good at remembering all of those things every time. So make a list!

Beyond the obvious (passport, clothes), make sure to include:

• Health and medicines. I always forgot aloe vera until it made my list. Take your regular medications and have a list of the “if we get sick” medications and tools (e.g. thermometer) you’d want to have with you while traveling.
• Legal documents: Birth certificates, citizenship papers, powers of attorney, etc. Anything you’d need to restart life if another pandemic happened while you were traveling away from home.
• Financial documents: Not just redundant bank and credit cards but backup cash and a way to safely store it.
• Kids stuff: Don’t forget their security blankets, favorite bedtime book, etc.
• Etc.

Travel lists

I’m sure you’ve learned tips and tricks of how to make your airplane or train travel more pleasant, but these are easy things to forget. My long-haul 54-hours-to-visit-my-parents travel happens only every 2-3 years, which is just infrequent enough that I easily forget details between trips. So, make a list of the tips and tricks of what you’ve learned will make your travel more pleasant.

Here’s some ideas on my list:

• Audio gear to make your in-flight movie experience far better. I wrote an entire article on this one, see: Tune In, Zone Out: Expat Hacks for Inflight Movies
• Kid entertainment. You’ve helped me make a list of a bunch of tips; which ones have worked for you well in the past? No sense reinventing the wheel each plane ride, write it down and make up your list.
• Hygiene. Wash cloth to freshen up, travel toothbrush and toothpaste to make your mouth less icky, makeup remover, mouth wash, etc.
• Health. Yup, you might get sick on the plane, so what do you need? Tums, Gas-Ex, hand sanitizer, tissues, wet wipes, cough drops, and a fever reducer (e.g., Tylenol) are on my list. Yours will be different, but probably also similar.
• Extra clothes in case you, your kids, or the sick-as-a-dog traveler next to you has a spill, accident, or misses the sickness bag. Quick tip from a guest writer: pack it all in a ziplock bag and then all the gross mess is contained in the bag after the fact.
• Sleeping gear. Whatever helps you sleep on the plane: neck pillow, eye mask, ear plugs, melatonin, Dramamine, etc. Make sure you don’t forget it.
• Comfort foods. I’ve found that I like certain snacks on an airplane and so I bring them along for long-haul flights.⁵ Bring an empty water bottle and fill it up on the plane so you can drink anytime you want.
• Kids routine stuff: Comfort blankets, bedtime story books, blankets, pillows, etc.
• Airplane socks or slippers: You may hate me for this, but I find 16 hours is too long to wear shoes, but plane floors are icky. I take disposable slippers with me on the plane to solve the problem.
• Etc.

Actually, what’s on your list? Please let me know on social media or email—I’d love to create a list of the best travel hacks like these!

Anything and everything else

I won’t sport with your intelligence by suggesting the above is exhaustive—it’s anything but. These are common situations, though, where I see that expats often don’t have lists and end up facing inconvenience or trouble because they trusted their brains with details that brains just aren’t good at remembering.

Conclusion

Lists might not seem glamorous, but they are a lifeline for figuring out life abroad. By keeping all those pesky details in an “external brain,” you not only ensure that you don’t forget crucial details but also free up your brain to focus on what truly matters. Whether a list for a bureaucratic process, emergency, or just travel, a well-maintained list can reduce stress, prevent mistakes, and make daily life significantly easier. For any expat striving to balance the challenges and joys of living in a new country, lists are a small yet powerful investment in a smoother and more confident life.

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Footnotes

1. This is one reason I’ve fully embraced the GTD Method of productivity as developed by David Allen in his bestselling book Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. ↩︎
2. I first encountered this research in Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, by David Allen. ↩︎
3. The answer to this is to write the thing down and get it out of your brain onto your phone or onto sticky notes or something. Then, because it’s out of your head in a place your brain knows you’ll remember, you’ll relieve the stress of trying to remember the thing as well as wondering whether you’ll remember or not. ↩︎
4. Though fascinating, if you like learning about productivity and neurology. It’s also called “second brain” if you want to dive into the topic. ↩︎
5. For some bizarre reason, Swedish Fish are my perfect airplane ride snack. I love the gummy texture, they travel without melting or freezing, and they’re not so sweet that I feel bad if I’ve eaten a bunch of them on the flight. ↩︎