Family Flight Plan: Expert Strategies for Traveling with Children

A father at his whit's end, surrounded by screaming children and utter chaos of toys while on a plane

Summer is coming up and you know what that means for many expats: travel and long international plane rides. Amidst the joy and expectation of seeing family and friends comes the dread of a long plane ride with young kids. There’s no way around the fact that it’s not the greatest experience in the world, but The Prepared Expat is here this week with tips to help make your travel more pleasant (and less annoying to those around you).

Here are tips to survive and thrive a long airplane ride with kids. The tips are grouped in sections following the chronology of your trip (i.e. booking, packing, at the airport, on the flight, after the flight), but the tips within each section have no specific order.

Have a tip to share yourself? Leave it in the comments below or, better yet, email me and I’ll add your advice to this list!

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Booking your flight

  • Be careful of arrival times; unless there’s literally no other option, you’re better off to arrive at your destination in later afternoon and/or evening. That allows your jet-lagged self (and kids) to push through a couple hours and then go to sleep. Arriving between midnight and 5am is horrendous and arriving in the morning is brutal for jetlag.
  • Consider booking your flight in stages or with intentionally long layovers between flights. Thirty or more hours of travel time wears on you and your kids; if you can fly one leg of it and spend a night in a hotel—or schedule a layover with an airport that has a hotel inside it—you’ll reduce how long you and your kids have to travel in one go. Be aware, though, that if you book the flights as separate itineraries, the more generous international baggage allowances will not apply to the other legs of the flight. Also, if a layover is sufficiently long, you may be required to leave security, pick up your baggage, recheck your baggage, and re-enter security
  • Know that you’ll need a ticket for an infant-in-arms or lap-infant, but these aren’t necessarily cheap. Even though most airlines allow an infant to fly “free” (typically under the age of 2; note that the age is determined at the time of booking the ticket, not the time of flight), you’ll still have to pay customs, airport, taxes, and other fees for your infant. The result can add up to be a relatively expensive ‘free’ ticket ($300-$500 is not unusual, depending on your flight). Also, if full tickets are on a great sale, it can sometimes be cheaper to book a full seat for your infant rather than pay for the “free” ticket. Counterintuitive and rare, but possible.
  • Decide if you’d like to get a bassinet seat or not. Most international airplanes have a crib-like bassinet that attaches to the wall and is available for infants. It’s not guaranteed you can get one, so check with your airline. Personally, my wife and I found it a wonderful option so our baby could lie down flat and sleep while our arms were freed up and we could sleep better as well. If you get a bassinet, try to get the bassinet seat that is between the first class and economy seats, rather than the one that is behind the toilets; the one by the bathrooms tends to be louder and more disruptive.
    • Do note that there are some downsides to the bassinet: (1) you’ll be required to take the baby out during takeoff, landing, and times of turbulence, even if it means waking up your baby; (2) some airlines will only allow two people to sit near the bassinet (so others can use the bassinet next to yours), so your entire family may not be able to sit together; (3) bassinets seats don’t have storage under the seat in from to you (a wall is in front of you), so you will have limited easily-accessible storage; (4) bassinet seats usually have in-arm media centers & trays which are more annoying to use and less flexible than behind-chair ones. In my experience, the flight attendants allowed us to have things on the floor (except during takeoff/landing), but others may be stricter.
  • Check what children baggage is allowed; some airlines give 2 pieces of checked luggage for free, even for an infant-in-arms, which may change which airline is most economical to fly.
  • Check about carseats and/or strollers. Most airlines ship these for free, but not all, so check in advance.
  • Sign up your kids for frequent flier programs and log their miles! Sometimes airlines don’t do this automatically for children, so you may have to submit their tickets after the flight is over in order for them to be credited with miles.

Preparing for the flight

  • Buy carseat bags, even if you don’t need a carseat. Most (all?) airlines allow you to check a carseat for free; if you put the carseat into a carseat bag, you can fill the remainder of the space with baby items and still get the carseat checked free. Now, theoretically an airline could make you open up the carseat bag and take things out, but I’ve never ever had an airline check (I still keep only baby items in there, just in case). It’s a great way to get some free extra luggage space or to transport all those diapers. Plus, it keeps your carseat clean.
  • Prepare two kinds of kids food. First, prepare foods that your kids like, because they may not like the airplane food (who does?) or they may be hungry when food isn’t being served. Second, prepare yummy snacks that you can bring out at random times on the flight to keep things fun and interesting to the kids.
  • Place baby foods in a separate container so it’s easy to pull them out when going through security. You may be required to drink/taste the liquids/foods to prove they’re safe, including any pumped breast milk you have.
  • Prepare games and activities for the kids. A great idea is to “rotate” through the games you pack so that there’s something new for the kids to do, say, every hour or so. That will help reduce the monotony and boredom for the kids. A few games that parents shared with me which are great ones to include in your game arsenal:
    • Post-it notes. Kids love sticking them anywhere, they’re quiet, and they come off easily.
    • Stickers, sticker books, and, my favorite, paint-by-sticker books. Great activities and quiet–just make sure any stickers can come off the chairs easily because they’ll likely find their way there.
    • Coloring books. A wonderful, quiet activity. Just make sure to pack extra crayons because they’ll inevitable get lost between seat cushions or roll around on the floor.
  • Prepare hygiene items: Clorox wipes, wet wipes, plenty of diapers, a small/travel changing pad, trash bags, hand sanitizer, and anything else you think you’ll need.
  • Bring an extra pairs of clothes for each person, including adults. Accidents, spills, and motion sickness happens–and oftentimes adults are the innocent bystanders. Quick tip, if you pack these in large Ziplock bags, then the mess you’re changing out of can go into the bag and be self-contained inside the seal.
  • Prepare a blanket to go inside a bassinet (if you go that route). Basinets are not particularly soft; you may also want a blanket to go over the top (to block out light).
    • If you’re not using a bassinet, consider getting a backpack or travel bed so your infant can sleep flat across your lap. Make sure to check with the airline first, as some don’t allow these.
  • Pack baby/child-strength paracetamol with you, though check with your doctor first.
  • Consider dramamine if your children are prone to motion sickness. I recommend the chewable gummies for kids, as they’re easier to eat and feel more like a treat. Also, some parents swear by motion sickness bands (also known as sea bands).
  • Consider children’s noise-canceling headphones. I haven’t used these personally, I can see why they’d be a big benefit. A large stressor for our bodies is the constant noise of the plane engines, so perhaps get some for yourself too. And if you don’t want to go that route, at least consider some quality earplugs (but bring extra for your kids, they’re prone to getting lost).
  • Ensure your baby carrier is comfortable when you wear it a long time, not just for the airport walk but for the plane ride. You may need to walk your baby to sleep. A small stroller is also nice for use during the airport and you can check it at the gate.
  • Make sure you have chargers or your electronic devices and, importantly, extra-long charging cords so your kids can move their devices around without disconnecting them.
    • My favorite brand for chargers and cords is Anker; they make excellent stuff and I highly recommend them.
    • Note: many airlines ban or place restrictions on power banks, so as tempting as those are to bring, they may not be a good idea unless you check with the airline first.
  • Prepare hard-sided water bottles (such as those made by CamelBak or Nalgene). You’ll need to take them empty through security, then fill them up with water after security or on the plane. Your kids will likely want and need to drink more often than the drink cart comes by, so these are handy to have. It also helps you require less of the flight attendants, which can help them like you.
  • Bring your “nighttime routine” on the plane. Following the same routine you have at home will help the kids “wind down” and go to sleep, even though they’re in a new and strange environment. For our family, that means bringing their toothbrushes, toothpaste, washcloths, our favorite Bible story book, their own blanket, their favorite stuffed animal, and their pillowcase to put on top of the airplane pillow.
  • Prepare supplies to feel human on the plane: toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, comb, deodorant, washcloth, makeup & remover, wet wipes, etc.
  • Communicate with your kids in advance in age-appropriate ways about what the plane ride will be like. Talk about what it will feel like on takeoff and landing, when you hit turbulence, what food you’ll get to eat, what activities they’ll do, etc. Airplanes, and especially 12–14 hours in an airplane, can be scary for kids, so help them mentally prepare.
  • Most importantly: Set low expectations for yourself. Assume that you won’t get to sleep at all on the flight, assume that you won’t get to watch a movie or read a book or the other things you’d normally do on an airplane. Hopefully you will, but setting low expectations will help you be mentally prepared for the flight. Then, if you get 20 minutes of sleep or watch 30 minutes of a movie, you’ll be delighted instead of aggravated and frustrated.

At the airport

  • Arrive early. As much as I hate time waiting in the airport lobby, it’s far better to wait than to run through the airport with children in tow. It’s happened to me before and it is the most stressful way you can begin a trip with children, plus it affects them for hours to come—and that’s assuming you still make the flight. You don’t want to have to wait another 12 hours in the airport for the next available flight. Get there earlier than you think you need to.
  • Travel with all documents: birth certificates, marriage certificate, passports, and permission to travel with kids (if traveling with just on parent).
    • Ensure the birth and marriage certificates are translated and/or authenticated into the language of the country or countries you’ll be flying through. Many countries will require these to ensure there’s not an international abduction taking place, so make sure you have them on hand.
  • Ask about the bassinet, if you want it. Check both at the check-in counter, at the gate, and when you get onto the plane. Most airlines are first-come first-served, so you need to proactively ask for the seat. Remember you want the one away from the bathrooms.
  • Board early. Some people like to maximize time outside the airplane, and I get that, but it’s nice to be able to get overhead space right next to your seats and to set up all the things for your kids without the pressure and crowding of other passengers.

On the plane

  • Make friends with the flight attendants. They have the power to help make your flight pleasant or make it even more miserable, so make sure to go out of your way to be kind to them and they’ll often be kind back. I’ve had flight attendants offer to hold our baby for us, offer coloring sheets to our kiddos, bring extra cookies and food to our children, and even take our kids on “tours” of the plane. They won’t do any of that unless you’re extra nice, so it really does pay off.
  • Clean your area: seats, tray tables, under the chairs, etc. Anyplace that your kids are likely to touch. This is where Clorox wipes come in super handy.
  • Help equalize ear pressure. During takeoff and landing, sucking on something will help children’s ears to pop and adjust. For infants, breastfeed or bottle-feed; for older children, a juice box or chewing gum will help trigger the sucking reflex and pop their ears.
  • Take fussy babies to the back. If your baby is fussing, you can take them to the back of the plane; the engine noise will help mask their cries so they don’t annoy other passengers, and the white noise just might calm them down too.
  • Ask a flight attendant for a refrigerator if you have baby food or milk that needs to stay refrigerated; they can usually help you out if you ask nicely. They also can provide you with boiling water so you can heat up food for your baby.
  • Drink plenty of fluids, both you and/or kids. Airplane recycled air is notoriously dry, and it’s easy to become dehydrated without realizing it. For infants, you can spray saline into their nose to prevent discomfort.
  • Turn off TV screens when you sleep (or at all times). If you can’t figure out how, ask the flight attendant.
  • Do basic exercises. Sitting for such a lengthy time can cause cramps, discomfort, or even deep vein thrombosis. Walk around periodically, do squats, jumping jacks, or some other kind of basic exercise to get your blood circulating. You don’t need to work up a sweat, but your body does need to be active sometime. That will also help make it easier to sleep when the time comes.
  • Ask for extra meals, bread, cookies, snacks, etc., in the galley, especially if you’ve missed one while sleeping. If you’ve made friends with the flight attendants, you’ll find them extremely helpful to give you extra snacks, especially if you take a child with you.
  • Important: Your kids will match your mood. If you’re stressed out, they’ll be stressed too. Do what it takes to keep yourself relaxed and calm, and it will be easier for them to be calm too. I’ll repeat what I said before: set extremely low expectations for the flight and then, no matter what happens, you won’t be disappointed.

After you land

  • Prepare for a customs wait. Have snacks, treats, and quiet in-hand activities prepared for the kids while you wait to go through customs/immigration. At this point, everyone will be tired and worn out; you’re almost over, but you can wait a long time at customs.
  • Consider changing clothes and freshening up after you arrive. It helps me feel more human and gives just a bit more pep to my walk. Plus, when I finally get to see my family, I don’t smell like airplane.

And there you have it! A bunch of tips to make your plane ride less stressful. I hope these help you to have a more enjoyable flight!

Have a tip or trick to add? Leave it in the comments below or, better yet, email me and I’ll add your advice to this list!

Check out other travel tips from The Prepared Expat.

Note: These tips were assembled with great input from parents in the excellent HABIC community.

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